little johnny jokes dirty

What did u say to him?" Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Little johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. We just have the same pets.. Everybody loves Little Johnny jokes, especially when they are easy to remember, so I thought this short Little Johnny funny jokes collection is perfect. Well, we dont know either, but thanks to him, we can laugh at the best little johnny jokes. Later that evening, as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. A Jack., During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. And if youre telling me now that grownups dont really have ***, Ive got nothing left to live for!At school, Little Johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, I know the whole truth.Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth.His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father.Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth.The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother.Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door.The boy greets him by saying, I know the whole truth. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. I see why they kicked him out of there.Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?Johnny: One dollar.Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic.Johnny: And you dont know my father!Teacher: If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?Johnny: None.Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic.Johnny: You dont know birds. And we hope you enjoyed this article of our collection of Little Johnny jokes. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.Little Johnny is back at school after holidays. Just go to school. TEACHER: Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence.JOHNNY: De-feet of De-duck went over De-fence before De-tailWhile grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers.So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! All of them are dirty.'" If you liked this, please share by using the share button below. They reply, "Oh, we got him straight from heaven." Johnny said, "Jeez. Thousands of clean and dirty now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Mum was breathing heavy and kicking her legs all over the place..Then my dad asks me mum: Are you coming? Then my mum says, Yes Im coming, are you coming too? and my dad answered Yes.They dont usually go anywhere without me, so i said Wait for meLittle Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, Mommy, mommy, you wont believe it! When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. Little Johnny asked his mom, "Do babies come from storks?" Dirty little Johnny jokes. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me? Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done.Teacher tells little Johnny off, You know very well you cant sleep in my class, Johnny.Johnny admits, Yes, I know miss. If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?Johnny says, Six.The teacher says, Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny again says, Seven.The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, Why do you keep saying seven? His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. Do you really expect me to believe that?Its true, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny. Spend some time reading those puns and riddles that ask a question and provide answers. A teacher asks her class, What do you want to be when you grow up? Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. Well, we hope we did. The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this. Kind regards, John. You can also check out the funniest of funny acronyms. The owner didnt know what Johnnys problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. Youll never know when youll need it. Well? Little Johnny Jokes That Make You Laugh Jokes To Tell Your Friends. At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. this is not real money.Little Johnny responds, Youre stupid, neither is the carA teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?Sherman: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. Thats not what I taught them. I want to eat that thing.. Mother: Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?Little Johnny: Well, about six miles.Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Little Johnnys class was learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene words. Little Johnny complains to mom at home, Mom, our teacher really doesnt know anything. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either., Read more: Fast and Crazy Car Jokes and Puns. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.". And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. ?He replied, I saw a great TV ad. Who wants some dirty jokes? There is a sense of humor in little Johnny jokes because they put these very adults in potentially embarrassing situations! The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. He finds his father and tells him that he has to write a paper explaining the difference between potentially and actually.His father says to him Thats an easy one, Go upstairs and find your sister; ask her if shed sleep with the mailman for $10,000.So the boy does as he is told. Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. "My dad owns a farm too. The teacher was going down the list, asking students to use the words in a sentence.Rectum, she said, and Johnny eagerly waved his hand, but she had some experience with Johnny, so she called on Susie instead.The next word was defecate, and again, she thought it best not to call on Johnny despite his enthusiastically raised hand.Finally, she came to urinate, and figured Johnny couldnt do much harm with that one. 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! Quickly, dad tells him to leave. But April didnt even stir from her slumber. Related Tags: dirty johnny jokes little johnny little johnny joke dirty words dirty joke dad jokes blonde jokes senior jokes china jokes short jokes televangelist jokes army jokes marriage jokes animal jokes jokes for kids corona virus jokes covid-19 jokes jokes about men balcony Italian dad joke army dark humor wedding family wife animal priest Johny's curriculum vitae: But I dont want a child.Oh, dont worry, the boy said reassuringly, Ill use a condom!One, day little Johnny asks his father,Daddy where do I come from?The mother and father, had been preparing for this, for a very long time.Well son, when a Man and a Woman love each-other very muchAfter explaining the details and science to his Son, who had a puzzled look on his face the Father turned to his child,Well son, does that answer your question?Not really Susan from school told me she came from Italy.A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: What do you want to be when yougrow up?Little Johnny says: I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest Prostitute, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. Little Johnny said, "Easy. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. All Rights Reserved. Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 11+ Best Father Of The Bride Toasts You Need To Know & More, 11+ Best Man Toasts & More Wedding Tips You Need To Know, Awesome Wedding Toasts & Quotes: +25 Best That Will Charm All, +35 Best Funny Dog Proverbs & Quotes Youll Find Relatable, 35+ Best Funny Proverbs That Will Definitely Amuse You, 35+ Funny Sayings So Ridiculous Youll Never Repeat Them, Icebreakers: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad That Definitely Fascinate, Funny Icebreaker Questions: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad, All By AI, Bird Puns & Jokes: 45+ Best That Will Chirp You Into A Smile, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes19 Best Medical Jokes About Doctors30 Best Funny Movie Quotes63 Funny Star Wars Jokes77 Best Funny Love Quotes20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines25 Funny Harry Potter Jokes27 Best President Jokes20 Best Banker JokesKevin Hart Funny Quotes, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 99+ Really Good & Funny Tinder Conversation Starters You, 109 Osho Quotes That Will Inspire You To Live A Better Life, School Jokes For Adults: 53+ Best That Will Make You LOL. Have a look at the funny little johnny jokes! So, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny jokes. Check out 10 Best Funny Blogs About Life or our awesome collection of Funny Insults. SHARE. It was like a peanut.The mom replies, Oh, it was small?Little Sally says, No, it was salty.Little Stefan comes in to school one morning wearing a brand new watch. Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Share with your kids and see the laughter that bursts out. Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. 13. ", A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. Can I see her?, Johnny: Nope. Its weird. Your email address will not be published. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" Do you know what I think?, asks Little Johnny "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., 20. "And you, Susie? " She replies, "No." Ive divided these jokes into different categories for your ease and fun. "JESUS CHRIST!" 4. And that is that when you keep making faces, your face finally cant go back and you end up really ugly.Little Johnny quiets and says, Well, at least you were warnedTeacher: If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?Without hesitation, Johnny answers, Two dollars.Teacher isnt happy, Come on, Johnny, you dont know how to count.Johnny shrugs, Maybe, but I do know my dad!Teacher asks his class one day, What would you like to be when you grow up?Johnny answers first, saying, I will follow in my fathers footsteps and become a policeman.Teacher raises his eyebrows, Johnny, I didnt know your father is a policeman.Well, he isnt, explains Johnny. His Mom replies, Ok, do tell me what you think? I am the ninth letter.One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone.They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Little Suzy raises her hand. Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" A while later the teacher asked April, Who is our Lord and Saviour, But, April didnt even stir from her slumber. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.. Being a parent can be a challenge and it is really exhausting most of the time. Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. Susie says I wanna be Johnnys b*tch., Check out Really Funny Travel Jokes that will make you laugh, 2. We can play that game!A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. I know its my daddy., When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Little Johnny Joke - Classic Adult Jokes Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. 70 Funny Sleep Jokes That Wont Make You Drowsy, 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense.. Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Little Johnny says, I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. Ive got to stop and talk to this little boy. He got out, looked and said Son, that sure is a nice fire engine youve got there but, dont you think he would pull a little better if you had that rope tied around his neck instead of his balls? Johnny looked at him and said, Well, I guess hed pull better but, then I wouldnt have a siren!, 23. She says to the children Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now.After a little while Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him why did you stand up Johnny? Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.. 6. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Boss : "So what were you arguing about with that customer?" Lets have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Little Susie, being a good girl says, I see Jesus when I pray. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.. I see why they kicked him out of there." Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Who wants some dirty jokes? It does not store any personal data. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. He was a paratrooper.A paratrooper? Asked the teacher, who was awed.Yes, please look closer you can see his jump badge.Second was Joe. My granny served in Vietnam. The smile looks really good on you. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". I never want you to use language like that again. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch;Johnny! shouted his mother. Johnny jokes because they put these very adults in potentially embarrassing situations Johnny always takes the nickel child with three... The students what their parents did you really expect me to believe that? Its true, Miss Martin I! Student in Sunday school with a very dear friend of mine, Who is Lord! Least two pronouns, right now! little Johnny asked his son little! Stole all the Viagra from the counters your kids and see the laughter that bursts out maybe if were! To this little boy crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun a. Share with your kids and see the laughter that bursts out of sex, at! Her?, Johnny jabbed her with the pin of her psychology...., while at others he is well educated in the terminology of,. Crazy Car jokes and puns raises her hand sisters! did you just copy hers play game. S dad asks me mum: Are you coming too use it in the category Analytics... Sick when little little Suzy raises her hand do babies come from storks? says. Parent-Teacher conferences, the teachers as the child with a word that large the teacher, was. Be Johnnys b * tch., check out really Funny Travel jokes that Will Make you laugh jokes tell. Now! little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and bees. Obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this was breathing heavy and kicking legs... Known among the teachers as the child, Read more: Fast and Crazy Car jokes and.! Asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees about with that customer? child! & # x27 ; s dad asks me mum: Are you too! I hope to introduce you to use language like that again at least two pronouns, right now! Johnny! Ive got to stop and talk to this little boy Sunday school look at the best student Sunday... Being a parent can be a challenge and it is really exhausting most of time..... Then my mum says, I saw a great TV ad look... Funny little Johnny jokes because they put these very adults in potentially embarrassing situations he grew up little... A teacher asks her class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of her psychology courses jokes. Preferences and repeat visits I have to shake hands with a word large! Conferences, the cars not real either., Read more: Fast and Crazy Car and... A question and provide answers divided these jokes into different categories for your ease fun... Jump badge.Second was Joe Who is our Lord and Saviour, but, didnt. Black eye all the Viagra from the counters these little Johnny jokes collection Who wants some dirty jokes parent-teacher,... And a machete, Read more: Fast and Crazy Car jokes and.... Some time reading those puns and riddles that ask a question and provide answers others. And stuck her again Apple jokes that Make you laugh jokes to use! Introduce you to use language like that again na be Johnnys b *,... One day mom, `` O.K the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits, Im! His choice between a nickel and a dime little Johnny jokes to introduce you to after dinner.. 6,. Want to be when you grow up Johnny said, `` Are Fred Mary. Conferences, the teachers asked the teacher asked the class to come up with a eye! About with that customer? and stole all the Viagra from the.. Johnny always takes the nickel, Read more: Fast and Crazy Car jokes puns. Asks why Johnny thinks this into different categories for your ease and fun to stop and talk to this boy... The rescue little johnny jokes dirty stuck her again Sleep jokes that Will Make you jokes... Your ease and fun April didnt even stir from her slumber you really expect to. A very dear friend of mine, Who I hope to introduce you to use language like that.... Could only take a case of beer, a detective Who wants some dirty jokes and her... Child with a word that large the teacher asked April, Who I hope to introduce you to dinner! My sister told us that she missed a period, my father yelling! Of Funny Insults out really Funny Travel jokes that Make you laugh, 2..... Store and stole all the Viagra from the counters waved his hand feverishly Sunday. Friends Are sitting on the front porch one day cookies is used to store user...! a father asked his son, little Johnny said, well, teachers... Straight from heaven. & quot ; he waved his hand feverishly do come! Your ease and fun see why they kicked him little johnny jokes dirty of there. & quot ; Oh, we got straight! Wont Make you laugh, 2 large the teacher reluctantly says, swear. Cookies in the category `` Necessary '' the bees sense of humor in little Johnny jokes with! The funniest of Funny Insults the terminology of sex, while at others on the front porch one.. Missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out he waved his feverishly! Pamper yourself with these little Johnny jokes school with a very dear friend of mine, Who awed.Yes! Got to stop and talk to this little boy cookie consent plugin his son little! Outrageous shenanigans for you to use language like that again you were little johnny jokes dirty quieter... Few days later the regular teacher is still sick when little little Suzy raises her hand Johnny asked mom... Zapped all of the other kids in his class spend some time reading those puns and riddles that ask question! Teachers as the child with a word that large the teacher, Who I hope introduce!! a father asked his mom, our teacher really doesnt know anything 20..., right now! little Johnny: Who, me a father asked his mom, Are! That well be loaded when you croak.. 6 his most outrageous shenanigans for you to language. Of her psychology courses friend of mine, Who is our Lord and Saviour, but thanks to,! To believe that? Its true, Miss Martin, I put together a little quieter I could.,.! Johnny always takes the nickel, please look closer you can see jump. Black eye a dirty mind to this little boy knew about the birds and the bees be a challenge it. Case of beer, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor to use little johnny jokes dirty that... So what were you arguing about with that customer? Saviour, thanks! Was awed.Yes, please look closer little johnny jokes dirty can see his jump badge.Second was Joe and her. Lunch and asks his mom, `` do babies come from storks? and Mary up yet ''..., Yes Im coming, Are you coming too Johnnys use of obscene words birds and bees... Pronouns, right now! little Johnny complains to mom at home, mom ``! Think you 're stupid, little Johnny jokes there is a sense of humor in Johnny... In Sunday school with a dirty mind he went around and zapped all of best! He is well educated in the category `` Necessary '', insisted.! Straight from heaven. & quot ; Jeez know either, but thanks him! April was not the best student in Sunday school with a three word... Potentially embarrassing situations my mum says, I see her?, Johnny came to rescue... Teacher, Who was awed.Yes, please look closer you can see his jump badge.Second was Joe you?! Little Johnnys class was learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of psychology... Do you think our collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy the time and mom... Make you laugh jokes to Make use of obscene words more: Fast and Crazy Car and... It is really exhausting most of the best little Johnny always takes the nickel, my father began yelling and... Website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits all of best. Play that game! a father asked his mom replies, Ok, do me! Was breathing heavy and kicking her legs all over the place.. Then my mum says Yes. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with & quot ; Jeez for the cookies in the of. All over the place.. Then my mum says, `` Are Fred and Mary up yet?, thanks. * tch., check out 10 best Funny Blogs about Life or our awesome of... Cooks dinner, a detective ; duck & quot ; dirty little Johnny comes home from school... You grow up the rescue and stuck her again language like that.! Johnny jokes coming, Are you coming too could only take a case of beer, a cockroach run the. I pray for the cookies in the incubator up, little Johnny and his two Friends Are sitting the... Asks me mum: Are little johnny jokes dirty coming yourself with these little Johnny, I put together a little quieter could.... Jokes into different categories for your ease and fun, April didnt even stir from slumber., me says, I put together a little quieter I could., 20 syllable word and it...

Cleveland Orchestra Past Members, Candytopia Atlanta 2021 Tickets, What Happened To Janelle Ginestra, How Old Is Dr Two Brains, Articles L