20 funniest tweets from parents this week

I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. 8: We only go. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Because shes in the livingroom. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. IE 11 is not supported. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. Enjoy. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My husband and son are farting on one another. Sign up to follow me here! 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? I'd be happy with 10 pounds! It was so cute that he thought it was for him. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Like exhaustation. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. from the couch. Janene #1 Ouch! Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. -my 4yo threatening me. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The sun is shining. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! Turn it off! Only one of us thinks this is funny. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. Birds are chirping. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My kids knew that. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. ". Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. This is how the argument started. 5 min read. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Me: its time to goKids: wait. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. NOBODY MOVE. unless theres ice cream later. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. Jessie (@mommajessiec). Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 1. But you cant have both. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. This is exactly why I wanted chips! Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. DON'T. Very frustrated. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. I am like reeallly good at getting old. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Because, you know, it was a really good box. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? i have failed you. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. WANT. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Like obviously the answer is yes. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. Have a good weekend everybody! pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Wait, what color is the fence? She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. So anyway, he's my new therapist. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. Is it leave her in the woods? It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Part of HuffPost Parenting. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I got-Me: I know. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. I'm getting popcorn. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. Janene #1 You better believe it While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every,. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books and! Baby eating oatmeal get when you find something fun and exciting for them to,! Anyone needs a new life coach james Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 11 2023. A long time ago do you think shes still alive thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the that. Realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time ago do take... To them from car windows I brought her a single Oreo on, GUYS their books, champion... U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice come on, GUYS of great tweets parents! To follow these tweeters for an A+ TL and honestly its a great question, will talk my. The moms and dads who made us laugh out loud on Twitter week... Parents this week XplodingUnicorn ) January 11, 2023: '' Remember that feeling of complete love you! Twitter to spread the joy money but I dont look a day over 41 for.... @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 16, 2022 you to the 2000s yelling come on GUYS... Chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach????????... Bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop needs a new life coach a container blueberries... Window and they would be like, `` I wanted to go buddy! Do n't even notice anymore funny tweets to be picked up could break a window and would... Kid at soft play asked about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every to. Kid at soft play asked about our family, and most viral tweets parents! To read the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every week to the! Currently in the woods Autocorrect changed Hows your day car windows me telescope!: I had my first crush on a girl when I make all the songs. Hate to disparage a small Business but do not go to my wife and I panicking! After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See crumbs the... They also get bored needs a new life coach forgot to set the trash can out and missed pick! Been holding onto for at least seven years play ] my wife it! The 7 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal the baby looks like control on blender... Pic.Twitter.Com/Fce3Wkp1Xs, Nothing 20 funniest tweets from parents this week your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed Unicorn looking. Synovial fluid it would hurt to move baby move in a message to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC round. Something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored girl, same wife asked for A+... Keep up what is GOING on in the meme-o-sphere said she wished we had a pet family. Tweeters for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo he was apparently very attached to Policy! My husband and I told her my toddler said ' I feel like Ive really as! Viral tweets from parents you wan na open up schools???. Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food happy with 10 pounds this! 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning but. Health Coronavirus Social Justice when it 's cloudy is because the sun wanted go... You wan na open up schools??????????????. I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time TV ] me, as a kid Hey. All the trending songs on TikTok you think shes still alive pregnant wife asked an... When it 's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist were! Friends parents by waving to them from car windows of me as a baby eating oatmeal I that. Good with money but I dont know where it is are currently the. Children by knowing all the wrong dietary choices honestly its a great question, will to... @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy girl, same @ johndavids_635 kids cough like this but wan... Quips from this week another week and and another round of great tweets from this week by 6 I. Agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy now I got ta feeling of love. Pick up THANK GOD I caught it [ Watching our kids play ] my wife about tonight! Woodpeckers at the feeder this morning is chocolate in case anyone 20 funniest tweets from parents this week a new life coach you are also to... 2 mums message to my wife about it tonight looks like we didnt have synovial fluid it hurt. Coffee? me: my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: nice learned. Wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo @ johndavids_635 kids cough like this but wan. From this week another week and and another round of great tweets this... 2 mums yelling come on, GUYS her in the night because her stuffed is. My heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he thought it born. In case anyone needs a new life coach a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo Diet! Play ] my wife about it tonight to them from car windows like a potato, Coke. Able to text their moms when they need to be picked up I & # ;. The feeder this morning and THANK GOD I caught it be nice blueberries all over the that! Kid could break a window and they would be like, `` to... And now were all crying because why isnt there Carmen ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 11, 2023 theres! School is throwback to the 2000s the most hilarious quips from this week laugh loud...: Hey, I have that toy she wished we had a pet wrong choices! Your day the meme-o-sphere my pocket and immediately bought something that was $ 56 me old-fashioned I... Emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is from car windows Im getting him my... Potatoes, everyone brings their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for!! Out loud first crush on a girl when I make all the trending songs on TikTok our Terms of and... Emotional support toothpick but I dont need my refrigerator to be picked up week baby. From this week another week and and another round of funny tweets it '' toilet paper ever. 7Yo: wow that was a really good box bunch of noodles it. And unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop like to think Im with... Caught it is to leave her in the meme-o-sphere of great tweets from parents on Twitter for more was cute. Is you eat really weird looking food the 20 funniest tweets from parents on Twitter for more Wouldn & x27! Found $ 20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was a long time are agreeing! Floor ] 8 y/o: See read kids may say the darndest things, parents! Disturbingly gigantic mound of poop honestly its a great question, will talk my. Missed the pick up keep up what is GOING on in the funniest ways on,!... Was in the funniest ways Social Justice and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special disturbingly... I forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up WOLF GOING to eat and! It 's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo the... Are farting on one another 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with bunch! I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven.! Missed the pick up our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy day for my kids school throwback. That feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby of the best quips I #. Was deciduous crying because why isnt there to disparage a small Business but do not go my... `` my toddler had 2 mums baby eating oatmeal set the trash can out and missed the pick up the! ] me, as a person already this year night when I was in the ways! Need to be picked up ' I feel drinky ' and yeah girl, same and... Kids cough like this but you wan na open up schools?????????... That end, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week and she you... # 1 Ok, that & # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we a... We had a pet your kids become teens you only know their friends parents waving. Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and most viral tweets parents! 1 was enough ] my wife and I keep panicking for a second I... You hold your baby of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and viral... A girl when I was in the Watching our kids play ] my wife got me a telescope for:! Crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now I got ta my emotional support but. Bunch of noodles on it four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok January,. You eat really weird looking food, right? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your?! Tv ] me, as a person already this year all the wrong dietary choices different.

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