my boyfriend chooses his family over me

It's impossible not to love my boyfriend. If he doesnt stop letting his parent destroy trust and love or taking away quality time from you, someone could fall out of love and leave the relationship. I realize it's not the same, and his family are still his family no matter what. We never saw him the 5 years he was married. It was too much for me to deal with, and I thought the best thing for us was to part ways. But she knew he was a man with children when she met him as he was always honest about his 3 children. Your boyfriend is basically letting his mother control him and making him seem incapable of maintaining his relationship on his own. You raise kids who have no idea what a loving, high-functioning, healthy, mutually respectful marriage looks like. Privacy Policy. I have no family of my own and all my friends and spending the holiday with their own families so I'm all on my own this coming holiday. Best 7 Ideas With How Scorpios Deal With Breakups - SMART RELATIONSHIP, Top 7 Keys To Understanding How Men Deal with Breakups - SMART RELATIONSHIP. If he chooses to do so respect it and just focus on the good stuff of the relationship. I **** a girlfriend daily since 8 months. I've been my girl about two years now and she's upset that I haven't spent a holiday with her, she always wants me to spend it with her and her family but never mine. He did say he'd come over in the day time and spend as long as he could with me before he had to go to this party. But in our everyday life, this important factor of life is being jeopardized due to distress, tension, depression, work load, mental health, stress, and many other issues. my boyfriend (25m) always chooses his family over me (23f). MTdkZGFhMzY0ZGQ3ZDgzMzk1OWNkMWJiNTI4MGYzMDFjNTM2OTUxM2Y5ZmE5 By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. i did, and I don't regret it. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Good luck to you 152 Matt Jay Former USAF special operator, lawyer, judge (1987-2010) Author has 5.1K answers and 5.9M answer views 1 y OTgzNTVlZjFhNTE4OGMwNjExNjYzNGEyZDYxNDM1Mzc3ZGM4OTRlMjljMzY0 Your access to this site was blocked by Wordfence, a security provider, who protects sites from malicious activity. A perfect guy, but he ended up having to choose between me and his . Idk how thats to young to make decisions on your own life and lifestyle, they are just controlling manipulators. MTNiYjJlNzQwM2YwNjVmOWI0OTI5NDRjYmYxZTc4ZjYyZWQ5ZDY4MjMzMGVl - he always wanted me to be in their house during weekends. I am still struggling to understand why he chose his daughter over me. Njk4MGFjZTRhMzJlYzkwNzVkNDAxNjU5M2IyMTNlYzY5NjVjYjFhMmZjNzE5 I can't be sure about his reasons but anyway don't try to push him, just let it go and focus on having a good relationship. ZSI6IjRjYzg2N2NhOTg4YzU1M2IwOGYwMTYwNTc3ZTUxNjE5MmQ2ZWMyODIx Try to have an open and understanding conversation with your daughter. He was his mothers puppet and has no intention of cutting the cord any time soon. my boyfriend (25m) always chooses his family over me (23f). Dont get me wrong. He's always welcome to stay at our house whenever we're in town (which he does a lot of the time), and he's met my relatives. I'm dating someone new right now, 6 month only, and we are already talking about how to deal with the holidays.what day we can spend together since he has no family and has to spend xmas eve with his bro, and I have to spend xmas eve with my family, so we'll spend Xmas Day together. 2. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? We are thinking of buying a house together but while house shopping I realized how much he cares about his family's opinion. Why can't he take you with him to see his family? That last part wracked me with more guilt, but I loved him too much to let him go, quite simply. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. am i right for feeling this way? His mother was in charge of things and sadly still is. You cant make him choose you over his mom/family because you dont have that kind of power. My friends have pretty mixed opinions about it, so I'm looking for an unbiased opinion here! i broke up with a boyfriend of 6 yrs for the same reason. The author is asking why her boyfriend chooses his daughter over her. It's give and take. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? Answer (1 of 13): You can be jealous all you want. This isnt just unhealthy but also damaging to the relationship. What should I do about this?' Some of this depends on your ages and how long you've been together. Ive said that its not fair as all my family are coming including my elderly grandparents. At the end of the day he will choose his children over you if you kick off or refuse to speak to them. My boyfriend had to choose between mom and girlfriend. Having a name for your kids already picked by dad and living further from work just to be closer to mom and dad. If that's too much for him then I'm sorry chick, but he doesn't care and you'll be happier with someone else. I know that it was a hard decision for him, but in the end, she was just a child and not capable of making her own decisions. A relationship like that is not a romantic relationship but a relationship with someone who accompanies him. Fathers day. YjNjOTJiZDc2OTcxYWMzM2E2ZWRkN2M3ZDY1YjQ3Yzg5MWViYWJiYzFiMTI2 What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). He gives her life purpose as he indirectly motivates her to perform her motherly duties and allows her to feel fulfilled. Your boyfriend is enmeshed with his family and values their opinions and approval over yours. I am still struggling to understand why he chose his daughter over me. Reprinted with permission from the author. MDIwYThjODdkYmRkODkxNjdmMjNjMWJiNzg2YzczOWNhNDNkMTAzMDkyNWE1 including preparing them for job interviews and helping them with finances to move into rented property. Don't make an issue out of it. In 2014, I met a guy. You could turn it into a positive, fair enough you won't see your boyfriend this christmas, but what about if you get married in the future? I don't know what to do or how to react, I'm very bummed because he promised me and I love christmas eve and my family has always been extremely support of him, they have been there for him always, he has a strange relationship with her mother because she is very cold and doesn't take care of him, she doesn't cook or will drive him anywhere, she doesn't want to buy him a car and doesn't want to borrow her car to him, so when his at my home we always cook for him, we drive him and pick him up whenever he needs to, I'm a very good girlfriend to him and me and my family are always there for him, much more than his own family. We'll be on the phone or a Zoom date and she always needs him for something . Theres a lot of things that I dont understand about this whole situation. Hed been raised to believe that mothers have absolute power and the last say no matter what their sons believe and want. I'm thinking of ending my 4yr. My boyfriend spend the weekend with his ex. Do not emphasize this too much maybe. HELP! What do I do? I absolutely dread the holidays now. Have a talk with him and ask him to hang out with you more often. Im over this relationship because he loves his daughter more than me, and its not fair for me to be in a place where I am constantly feeling neglected. ODU4NjRjNGIzZTFiMDY2Yjg2Yzk1NTk4MWJjN2E1YzcwZTg3Mjk2MmQzOTlk If couples dont create boundaries with them early on, they can be persuaded into thinking their partner isnt good for them. But if our love has no future because his family comes first, then maybe it should never have been in the first place., The answer to that question is obvious. In the interest of privacy the writer's identity will always be kept anonymous. My Boyfriend Had To Choose Between His Mom And Me. i expressed to him that our relationship should be just as much of a priority as the family. When he told his mom he met a girl and was pretty serious about her, she flipped. See additional information. Thanksgiving isn't such a big deal, but i've already invited him to go with me to my sisters if he doesn't plan on spending it w/ his one an donly brother. You just need to be HAPPY FOR HIM, any negativity towards him and his situation risks putting him down or even pushing him away. My parents are divorced and I live with my mum and sister. Everyone makes mistakes, including me and you. Your Partner Is Always Flaking On You When you're standing outside a restaurant waiting for your partner and watching the minutes tick by, it's easy to feel like you're not a priority. I understand your confusion at this, but at the end of the day, family will always come first to most people. Parents can have a very influential effect on the relationship. YjMyNjdmYjM0ZjM1M2FjZGY3ZTBhZDM0ODU2YzExMDQzYmNmOTMzMmIyMzE2 They had an arranged marriage after migrating to the U.S., where my boyfriend was born. Its not unusual for men to listen to their mothers as many sons and mothers have strong bonds and get along well. Girlfriend broke up with me because I made her feel worthless, we still text and spend time together. Boyfriend chooses his sister over me. That isn't going to deal with your real conundrum, which is 'My bf prioritizes someone else ahead of me. Y2JkY2E2ZjBkYjFiOGI4YzQ5ZjhmYjYyNDMyMGUwNDUwYzg1ZjcxN2E4ODUx My Ex Is Drinking/Partying After A Breakup, doesnt understand relationship boundaries, getting out of his comfort zone and making decisions without his mother. ODMzMTU0MDAxMzkzYzQ4M2ZmNjU3NjhhNTY1ZmEzNDZmNjZiZWZkZjgyY2Zk He told me he didnt want to get into it, but maybe my husband can shed some light on, Im going to reach out and see if we can work something out where he doesnt have to choose between his daughter or me because she needs her family too. She was lucky that he drove an hour away to be with her on Christmas day night but that was only in the later years of their relationship before they got married. He said it's tradition for him to go to some party with some friends that he only sees on Halloween and New Years Eve each year. We've seen each other often though and talked on the phone for hours on days when we don't see each other. 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When she met him as he was married her, she flipped this time to remind users that: do. X27 ; ll be on the relationship was married to see his family values.

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